One Night Stands, Toys, And Women’s Pleasure

When I was younger, I had sex with men, and they had orgasms, but I did not. I got a bit older, and when I had spontaneous sex, I got my pussy sucked, I got off, first, then he did. I now know to bring my toys. When I want to have a good time with someone I just met, I use a vibrator with sex. Whether a man is fucking my ass or pussy or both, I pull out my vibrator and use it while he is fucking me.  I might also ask him to give me a good hand job while I vibe my clit, and I feel more comfortable doing that with someone I just met now than ever. On cam, I also get asked time and again to come for him. Men love watching and hearing me climax. If I did not use my vibrator, though I would not have an orgasm, so the same applies to one night stands, and thinking that it is too embarrassing to use toys prevents both our pleasure.  There are no hard and fast rules that keep both of us from busting nuts.  Men do not have a problem with my toys.  They do not feel insecure about how I get off, because most men are now aware that women do not just have orgasms from penis to vagina pounding.  Referring back to cam, I have not gotten any complaints from men asking me to come for them when I use a dildo and a vibrator.  That is the whole point.  Men know that I need not just a vibrator.  I need both their cocks and my vibes.  Sex between people is about looking, touching, listening, penetration, laughter, and when you add toys, I get to have lots and lots of orgasms, just like men.  I am saying, I still need men.  So toys merely enhance the experience.  They are not a substitute.  Using toys does not mean that I will never want to be with men.  I twitch or in other words, “my pussy jumps” when men or women look at my pussy, tits, and ass, but with toys, it makes it all the more likely that mutual climaxing occurs.  Even after I sign off online, I think about their cocks, if we do cam to cam.  All of this adds excitement to an in person encounter, so I need the visuals of other men, toys to help me climax, but the point is that no one thing gets me off.

Even when we feel weird as women about using vibes and other toys to have orgasms when we have one night stands, we should do it, anyway. Sex Positive Feminism is about not only their pleasure but ours. I am speaking to the ladies right now, and what I want women to do is get over their irrational fears and bring toys so you can bust a nut.  If I just meet someone for the first time, and we both get horny and want to fuck, but I cannot have an orgasm just from him fucking my holes, he will still enjoy watching me have a fabulous orgasm from his fingering me or using a dildo to fuck me while I vibe my clit. Men love watching porn, so this is the equivalent of that. We both get to do what porn actors do on screen in real life. We love variety, so it makes perfect sense to allow him to watch me have an orgasm with toys. The only reason any woman might assume otherwise, has no basis in reality. I had sex with someone the other day, and he was fine with me fucking myself with my G spot dildo and vibing my clit at the same time.  He, actually helped by pushing the dildo in and out of me while I vibed my clit.  Men do not feel as if they are bad in bed, and they have no qualms about me doing whatever I need to to have an orgasm. Women have this tendency to convince themselves that it is all about being drop dead gorgeous, using lies to fake an orgasm, so he will think he is the greatest lover, and it is all about giving him the impression that I have had an orgasm just like him.  If women do this too much, though, men will think they are doing it right, and does that serve anyone?  No.  If we are not both getting off, then when your one night stand is doing the same thing and the next woman does not have an orgasm, that is unfair not only to him but her.  The truth is, if I am not having an orgasm, then instead of faking it, I need (and he is fine with it) to really have one, and that means me getting over some stupid assumption that men hate female sex toys or cannot take criticism, and that prevents all of us from being awesome lovers. That need women often have to appear as if men always get us off when they actually do not is bad all around. The fact is there is no shame in using toys to have an orgasm, and when you are with someone you just met, it is even more imperative that you use toys, because otherwise, there is no point. If I cannot relax enough with someone I just met, why sacrifice my pleasure, simply because I feel odd about how it looks to him to use a toy? That open communication is also easy to employ. There are no hard and fast rules that because I just met you, I cannot have a conversation about sex with you. As adults, we are capable of getting that we have been alive long enough to be mature about sex. Using toys is acknowledging that we are adults who know what gets us off and when.  Sex never needs to be so intimidating that it stops being fun. Keep in mind, most of us are single and date casually. So, guess what? Use toys together, laugh a bit, if you feel like it, and have some great orgasms.