Rape Culture And Fishing
I have heard the word, “rape” tossed around so much, lately that it has angered me to no end. First of all, I find it offensive to discuss rape constantly, as if the only thing people think about is assaults. The other huge problem with talking about rape so frequently is it encourages people to find it, even when it is not there. The police have a tendency to not only entrap people but to do something called, “fishing.” Fishing is an unethical way of finding criminals by taking advantage of people’s ignorance of the law and in an effort to make money. It is abusive, tacky, and hostile, and often this practice targets people of color, the poor, sex workers, and people with disabilities, including people with mental retardation. I am sickened that it happens, because, whether you hate or not, we are all innocent before proven guilty, and this approach to police work undermines our democracy. The bullies who participate in it are nothing but fear mongers, when instead what they should be doing is using healthy communication to teach people how to interact with one another. I am articulate, and I love discussing things with my fans, and I am always able to say no, when I do not like what someone is doing to me, but simply because I do sex work, does not mean, I am constantly at risk for being raped. That attitude reduces all pornography, sex with anyone, and all life to violence, and that assessment is totally erroneous. How dare you suggest that I do not know my own body, mind, and that I cannot live the way I want. In addition, no one has offered up a clear definition of, “rape culture,” as of yet, which leaves those who are susceptible to believe anything someone tells them to get it wrong. For example, do you know the difference between rough sex and rape? Maybe your experience is different than mine. I am not you, and I would never pretend to know what you prefer, unless you tell me, directly. Even if you are inexperienced, you can still tell someone that they are going too far without turning it into a crisis. Living in a litigious society has also inspired an attitude that just saying something to someone like, “fuck off,” or, “I want to kill you,” means there is a genuine threat. That is false.
The other thing I do with my past abuse is transcend it in the moment and through story telling, and I am no victim. I face my fears every day, and I am able to take the rigorous nature of what I do, in the same way I have dealt with difficult relationships. It is, also unhealthy for me to be unreasonably afraid of doing anything, and most of fucking involves pleasure. It is, also physical, and when I come, I get raw, but that is what I love about it. Sitting on the sidelines is not an option. I am, also wild, I like being humiliated, and I keep an open mind about all the things we want to do in my cam room. I am comfortable slapping my face, cunt, and tits. If you think I am beating myself up, well, fine. Go ahead and have vanilla sex, get married, and pop out a couple of kids. But do not tell me that is how I should live. You are not in control of my life. I am.
We have lived on this planet for over 200,000 years, and although we exist with war, enmity, and pain, the tolerance of such things is inherent to our resiliency, and that is what we are. We are strong, funny, brave, and rational. Anti-intellectualism is what goes along with such panic and that negative result denies the very nature of humanity. My assessment of who we are is not so myopic, and having a wider perspective of what is wonderful about all of us feels better to me. Human beings are fucked up. Our natures are not calm and peaceful, and to accept that we are always in the fray is to truly grasp reality.