A Unique Profession
The nature of sex work is so radically different from any other vocation that it is hard for most people who have never done it to understand what it is like. Personally, it often feels like the difference between having children and not, so since I have never given birth, I do not understand what that is like, either. The first distinction I make between traditional employment and sex work is that it is solitary. I work on my own, without a partner, which means I do it from home, control my entire show, use improvisation to make my fans laugh, and that material is in the moment, and although it is influenced by the news stories I listen to and comedians I watch, all of it is my own creation. Even in person sex workers’ lives remain a bit of a mystery to a lot of women, including me. These days sluts stay relatively hidden, although, thanks to the Internet, we are less closeted and more out in the open, which is in part thanks to the various empowerment movements, much like the LGBTQ movement, that has taught us to educate people about who we are and be proud of ourselves. I like wearing my, “whore” shirt for this reason. Before I became a slut, I did what most women do and that is to judge sex workers of any kind to be beneath me or at least so different than me that, they were like creatures from another world. It was communicated to me through every day conversation that one should not do it, because it is dangerous, oppressive to women, and something that would force me into an inferior position. I did not know that fear mongering was being used subtly to convince me into believing that all sluts were evil. Now that I am a slut, though, I see things from a different perspective. The points those who are literally afraid, themselves to be labeled as, “whores,” make fall flat. Myths are always spread about things we either do not understand or that we see as harmful to us, but they, nonetheless are not necessarily true. First of all, there is no proof that sex, in itself is oppressive to anyone, whether you are male or female. There is also no such thing as having too much sex. Sex is not a drug. Sex is something that is good for you, fun, funny, and varied. I choose to do anal sex, most of the time, and I feel more open minded because of it. To suggest, also that it is somehow obvious that women who do sex work are being exploited is merely another scare tactic in the name of nothing. The other problem with the argument that sex work is oppressive to women is that, those who say it sound as if they think that rough sex or having lots of sex is painful in that it is repetetive work, and therefore we should not do it. What?!? So, men can do physical labor, but women should only sit at desks? That does not even mean anything. The arguments made by women trying to prove that sex work is wrong amount to bullshit. Even when it hurts when I fuck my asshole, my education tells me that is because during and before an orgasm, my asshole puckers up. My clit, actually gets red and painful, too, but that is simply because I am using my tools to stimulate those areas, so it is worth it because of the payoff: my orgasms. I, often have 20 orgasms in one week, so naturally I am going to experience some pain, but what happens when we go for a walk? It hurts. What happens when we type long periods at a time? We hurt. Life is not about being pain free. It is hard emotionally and physically. No one is entitled to an idyllic existence, but to suggest that women should be treated as if they are fragile flowers, instead of people who can do what they choose is just plain dumb. More so, though, are these old school Feminists, also saying that women should not have lots of sex? Oh, thanks, ladies. So, I should not experience great sex? What is that?!? Nonsense!
Now to religion and other reasons I disagree with old school Feminists. While there are many people who identify as Christians doing porn and other types of sex work, the bible is often interpreted too literally, because, we have disputed most of that apocrypha. For example, that sex between married couples is the only way to experience it is largely considered to be too traditional for a lot of us. In addition, what we have called, “sodomy,” is practiced by a lot of people, and we do not judge it to be something only associated with prison and rape. When done right, it is a great way to achieve orgasm. As a matter of fact, when women watch porn while having sex with their partners, it enhances the sex act, instead of inhibiting it. If I am stressed out or depressed, porn not only excites me visually but aurally, as well. Another myth is that if you are a feminist, then you must not want to fuck men. Old school Feminism asserts that when women and men have sex, that sex is a form of abuse. That kind of extreme thinking is an effort on the part of some women to force me to believe what they do, and that means, some women think they should determine my destiny, or at the least tell me what I should do in my bedroom. I would rather acknowledge that I have things in common with men and women, instead of rigidly identifying only with women. The conversations I have had with women are unpleasant, because I, often feel patronized and treated like a child. Sex Positive Feminism tolerates my adoration of the male form and men, in general. I am not saying that men are perfect, by any means, but I would not say that of women, either. I am also straight, and we now know that biological determination of our sexual identity is the reason we want to fuck who we do. So, it is not up to anyone but me to say who I fuck, and I can also be a Feminist, thanks to the new Feminism. The other problem I have is with American culture. We have decided for a long time that the word, “choice,” implies a good or bad one. What choice also implies is option. That means, I can, again decide whether I want to fuck men or women, whether I do sex work or traditional work, or whether I live in the Bay Area of California or Timbuktu.
Sex work remains one of the least understood professions with the most assumptions made about it, and that is what makes me angry. At this stage of the game, every person should know the facts. Why? The abuse directed at the sex industry and at sex workers is intolerable. At a time when Human Rights are at the forefront of our experiences and within the context of The Holocaust during WWII, only 81 years ago, no sex worker should ever be targeted. Hatred directed at us is out of line, unenlightened, and out of step with the modern world.