Women’s Rights And Sex Work
There is no solidarity among women with regard to sex work. Women divide themselves into two groups: sex workers and non-sex workers. A more common way to say it is that we still believe in the, “madonna/whore complex.” This kind of black and white thinking is unhealthy and alienates me from other women, especially those who marry one man. This perpetuates hatred between and among women. The Judeo-Christian tradition that emphasizes excessive morals is long held in the United States, and that forces women into these two groups, as well. We cannot seem to achieve parity when sluts are still shamed, a failing public education system does not teach good quality sex education, and no one seems to understand the connection to the Holocaust during WWII and the constant attacks made against online sex workers and even any kind of expression. A lot of women have an instant or knee jerk reaction to online sex and porn that it must be censored. What they should be doing, instead is examining the entire issue to include a conversation connecting human rights, in general, the very real threat of censorship due to excessive religiosity, and the Holocaust. Political freedom is, also inherent in sex work. If I do not ally myself with either the Democrats or Republicans and decide to be more independent, which is in line with the idea that on the one hand whores lack fidelity (to frame it negatively) or we grasp the full range of political beliefs and choose not to pigeon hole ourselves (framing it positively,) then censoring us would mean we have no understanding of tolerance of divergent ideas. In addition, since American culture is not only still patriarchal, evidenced by that we have never elected a female president and that we still socialize men to fuck who they want, women further enable the oppression of those of us who choose to do sex work. That means, I am scapegoated for any affair that two people have, I still make less money than most men, and without the understanding of all women, there can be no enlightenment. Women, therefore become responsible for very real misogyny. If you have ever listened to a female comedian joke about bitches or cattiness, then you understand how this subculture of hate is real.
It sounds as if I blame women for blaming women ad infinitum. It is a circular argument. Keep in mind, though, I have tried many times to discuss the issue with a lot of people, not just women. I realize, as well that there are good sex educators who gain the support of other women, but a lot of that ends up sounding like, “preaching to the choir.” My job does, also isolate me, so I rarely talk to other women, but I am familiar with this cycle of abuse. That is what we need to name it. It is abuse, whether you blame our patriarchal society, women, or men. I am a pariah, jezebel, and the anti-christ. I am the witch who woos unsuspecting men into my depraved den of iniquity. These labels sting even more, because I am overweight and uncomely. Especially in the U.S. we still think beauty means being skinny, white, and pretty. In reality, most men enjoy fucking women (from a straight perspective, as I identify myself as straight, mostly) of all shapes and sizes, which is why I further blame women, although, it is propped up by our society, for abuse directed at their cohorts. What is a solution? I do not know. We live in a country with poor social services, insufficient education regarding all the things I have mentioned, and change is not in the offing. Does that sound dour? Yes. I may be a sex positive feminist, but this is a real battle with no end in sight. The U.S. will not in my lifetime legalize in person sex work or drugs, for that matter. Women are persona non grata on this issue, and I am in danger. I will not give up the fight, though. I am going to continue to do online sex work, educate people about my life as a Cam model, and face hate down.