Times Have Changed And Keep Changing


There was a time when we thought of sex work in one way. We imagined young girls being pimped out by street thugs. We thought of these young girls as whores. We blamed the girls, families cast them out of their circles, and fathers treated their own daughters like slaves who had tried to run away from their masters. We scapegoated these young women without question and turned a blind eye to rich and powerful forces like the Catholic Church and other religious organizations that were leading people to hate by manipulating their followers through intimidation, tithing, and false moral arguments. The fact is that we are better educated these days, and yes, we can handle the truth, and the facts we rely on these days are based in rational, proven, soundness, not apocrypha. It is irresponsible for excessively moral arguments to continue to be propped up by a society that has grown tired of leaders who only want to gain influence and power by making claims about sex work that simply are not true. Old wives tales and mythology are being replaced by rational, practical facts about sex and how to approach it as a society. Our knowledge about A.I.D.S. is better, now and has spurred sexual revolutions beyond imagination. Equality of marriage is a reality, now.

We know that sex is healthy. We know that masturbation is fun and good for you. We know that polyamory is a viable option for couples who do not choose to rely on the dyad and marriage, because they know divorce is caused by clinging to old social mores and standards that do not guarantee happiness. We know that women should never be blamed for rape and that rape is more about power and violence than sex. We know that there really is a, “happy hooker” persona. Porn is legal, and we are coming to realize that obscenity’s definition requires a new dictionary entry that ought to include war, hate, and violence, and that sex, nudity, and sex work should never be included in its definition. Thanks to Nazi Germany, we understand better than ever how important it is to stand against censorship and to recognize when a group is being scapegoated by another.

Have we evolved? Yes. Can we have faith in humanity, instead of relying on the blind faith a preacher extols? If that same preacher emboldens a community to hate, can we now decide to be independent and call him out on that hate? It is time we told spiritual leaders everywhere that they are never to teach people that it is acceptable to treat groups of people as outcasts. You are not allowed to demand of me that I choose to work in a profession of your choice. It is up to me to decide what I do with my body and mind. We live in a free country, and you cannot tell me I must worship at your temple or tell me I must think the way you do. You do not have the right to control my destiny. That is my job.

As a woman, I have felt the pressure to conform to what our patriarchal society demands, but I am also frustrated with women who may not do sex work who find it impossible to stand with sex positive females, simply because they cannot fit what I do into their modern version of life. I am tired of waiting for others to change. I am sick of the hate that is spewed by otherwise intelligent women. I hear more women than ever take hard line stances on sex when they could be leading the way for reform of the Justice System by joining with other sex workers to decriminalize sex work. Women could be championing the rights of all women, but what I hear them saying is that they are not willing to take the risk that is necessary to do it. As a sex worker, I see how much abuse we take, but the most shameful part of it is that most of the abuse I suffer from is at the hands (well, mouths, really) of other women. I am shocked at how women give up on other women in an instant, because they are afraid to lose their social status or friend group. I am disgusted by women who refuse to stand up for other women’s independence, because they have to go to their 9 to 5 job and choose not to do porn and make more money while having sex.

The women in this fight have been AWOL as far as I am concerned. I acknowledge the women who do stand with us, but most of them are fellow sex workers. We need all women to fight this battle. We need all women to realize that you CAN rape a slut. We need all women to support us and not their jealousy and hate, because their husbands indulge themselves in pornography and visit us when they need to. Open your minds, ladies. Stop clinging to traditional ideas of how we fuck. Get out of your comfort zones and watch some porn. Stop whining about your personal space or your shoes or your gross obsessions. There is nothing gross about fucking, anal sex, or your period. There is nothing shameful about wanting to get laid. Pleasure is not the enemy, and making porn gets you laid and paid, and making lots of money while you have orgasms is the best way to love your job. What is wrong with women that they think it is crazy or stupid to want to love what you do and make lots of money at it, too? Is there something wrong with making love and not war?

If you are tired of clinging to outmoded ways of thinking and want to stand with me to end the criminalization of all sex work, then sign this petition:

Decriminalize Prostitution