False Claims And Imposing Moral Arguments
Why does sex, pornography, and sex work make people claim all kinds of things about them that no one can prove? It is because we live in a bifurcated world. We exist in a world where people go to work, attend church, and in which people also do things that either are criminal or considered to be aberrant or a part of a kind of underground culture. They do exist, though, and while I am not saying that pornography is illegal, because it is not, I am saying that life is not just about context. It is also about subtext, and I am likening porn, sex work, drug use, and all things not associated with a traditional 9 to 5 with subtext. I believe it is why human rights are more closely allied with these things than legal rights. In the law, one might compare the letter to the spirit of the law. Another thing we can say is that there are rules at work, and then there is the culture of the work environment. They often differ drastically, which is why you see corruption occur in the extreme, because people cannot possibly be expected to follow all the rules. These things I am contrasting in order to prove a point.
Recently, someone said to me that men use porn for some sort of sick need they have to indulge themselves in fantasy, when it would be preferable for them to have a real relationship. Many have tried imposing false moral dilemmas on pornography like this for years. In reality, no one has ever been able to prove that there is anything wrong with watching porn, and many married people watch it together. Doctors, Sex Educators, and others have used it for teaching purposes. Taken at face value, though, there is no way for anyone to make a claim that porn is harmful to a person watching. The only thing anyone has been able to claim is that child pornography is totally unacceptable and wrong. Adult consensual sex, though, whether filmed or otherwise is not wrong. You would not be here without it.
So, why does it make people try to claim things about it that simply cannot be proven? Is it boredom? Is it that we spend an inordinate amount of time in social situations with others, and we eventually come to realize that we do not want to have sex with all of them? Is it politics? Is it politicians? Is it Conservatism? What makes people so nuts over it? It is a hot topic, but if you prefer a different one, then raise another. It is as if many feel they have no choice but to rail against it or hate it, outright. What I think is that it is something some just cannot put out of their minds. That still does not mean that it is fundamentally wrong. Murder, rape, robbery, and violence is wrong, though. It is hard to say there are good things about violence. It is pretty obvious. I have even considered death, in itself, and the truth is, life causes death, and there really is not anything purely wrong about it, either, but we try to draw some lines, and it makes more sense to draw lines at murder, rape, child pornography, and violence.
What am I saying? In my experience, the only problem I have with pornography is in whose hands it is controlled. Unfortunately, you have had many dangerous pimps and underground criminal organizations that have controlled it, mostly in the past. But, per se, it is not harmful. Sex can be fabulous, and porn can teach, enlighten, open our minds, and sometimes make us fall in love. The first thing I do after I meet a handsome man is picture him in my head. I do not film it, but it is where fantasy begins. I enjoy thinking of men whom I have seen in films or along my way. I enjoy looking at famous men, and I often come home and masturbate to their image. So, what if we put these images that derive from our minds on film? Are we simply just sharing fantasies that have already existed in our heads? Yes. Even if you still find that odious, a lot of us do not. So, why try to destroy filmed images? Would you destroy the Godfather, because you despise the Mafia? No. Would you destroy the institution of marriage, because marriages often fail? No. Then why porn?
What is wrong with choice? Even if you choose not to watch porn, why do you feel the need to determine that, because you do not watch it, you must decide for others that they, too should not? I like choice. I want to choose what films to see, what music to listen to, what books to read, what wine to drink, whether to toke or not, and with which groups I associate. I have even fantasized about Conservatives who may not like porn, but hey, it is my mind, right? The point is, you do not have the right to tell me what to favor. I have never suggested to you that you should believe all the things I do, just that you tolerate that I can do things you may not want to. I am not going to come to your church, either, unless you have a guest lecture day on why porn is good. Lol. Otherwise, all I ask of you is that we tolerate one another and our preferences.
Getting back to the beginning of this post. I suggested that we are bifurcated. There is a time and place for everything is what I am saying. This is how I think the topic of why porn is wrong comes up. I totally agree that you probably do not want to watch it all the time. Do you want to go to work all the time? Of course not. When you get home from work, you want to relax. Just because you told some chick you like at work that you hate porn in order to get her to marry you or get her in bed, does not mean you told the truth. You probably should not tell the truth all the time, either, but this is my best guess as to why the topic of porn comes up in situations where it maybe should not be, because if you realize that all you are saying is you do not want to watch it right now, does not mean you will not want to watch it outside of work, that you will not choose a different group of friends down the line who like it, and you will, too, or that one day, you may die, and on your death bed, you will look back on your meaningless existence, and decide, “God damn it! I should have done more drugs and watched some porn.” All right. A little humor never hurt anyone, either. Try to enjoy your life and realize that it is not that big a deal. If you cannot manage to do that, I guess I am sorry. I am going to continue to try to enjoy mine.