Why I Disagree With People When They Dismiss Porn As Obscene

I break the issue of whether violence is more obscene than pornography down into its most basic elements, just like the courts have done. What is fundamentally wrong about sex? What is fundamentally wrong about violence? It remains a simple argument. Murder is fundamentally, unquestionably wrong. There is no way to convince most people that murder (and ask those veterans who have come back from wars with PTSD) and especially mass murder is anything but disgusting, morally objectionable, and obscene. Compare murder to sex. Even if you include BDSM, which involves consensual (I am not referring to forced sex or BDSM) interactions including verbal humiliation, you cannot say to me that a gun or weapons do not cause more harm than anything sexual or even verbal. It is why I defend a person’s right to speak and express themselves in the way they choose. I know there are some who read what I write and balk. They were brought up knowing for certain that they defend God and country without question, but why? Who is telling them they need to fight? What is that about? It is about power, often undue amounts of power, and in the name of what? Freedom, you say? How are we freer when we kill innocent victims (often referred to as casualties) during the process of defending what? Are we defending democracy? What is positive about this? What do we gain from it? We may become more powerful in the world, but at what costs? Never mind the lives lost, but the money spent on wars always leaves a country devastated. It leaves our country financially worse off, and it leaves other countries destroyed, often. All in the name of power. I liken violence in wars to rape, and there have been times when armies (even ours) have used rape in wars to justify their goal of dominance.

Now, let’s talk about pornography. Even if you talk about BDSM, you cannot convince me that without using actual violence involving killing someone that there is any real comparison to sex or acting out fantasies involving dominance and submission. Why is it important to make distinctions between the two? Rape is why. Rape is about power, dominance, and violence, but it is an aberrant form that is loosely connected to sex only in that a perpetrator uses it to make a victim feel as if they are worthless and shameful and not worth living. Sometimes, victims are actually killed in the process of being raped or even afterward. So, why am I bringing up pornography then in the same sentence as I am discussing rape. Because rape is more closely related to violence, wars, and death than filmed sex. Even rough sex remains nowhere near close to what rape involves.

I blame people for trying to, “throw the baby out with the bathwater” when they try to lump all pornography or any other kind of consensual sex with rape. Someone said recently, “if we thought that marriage caused some to abuse their partners, would we do away with the entire institution of marriage? No, we would never dream of it.” Then why do we attack porn, porn stars, cam models, and other performers, including some mainstream Hollywood actors for simply taking their clothes off for any of this other aberrant stuff? Did God tell you to justify your violence, hatred, bullying, and immature attacks on people who choose to do this work? If you try to blame God, I will call you on your irresponsible cop out. God never told you to go after adults consenting to sex on film or anywhere else in the name of him. Which God would tell someone to hate? Did God tell you to go to war? When did God say any of this? Never. I have never heard your God or anyone else’s say anything about it. You justify your slut shaming, which can be summed up as verbal stoning (and women in some countries are still being stoned with real rocks) by blaming an imaginary being who may or may not exist. It is irresponsible, baseless, and a waste of time and sometimes, money. Even the President has denounced bullying as uncalled for. He has said many times, recently that he does not condone it, so what should you do? Well, I have been in therapy, and it does help. You can try avoiding porn sites, but you can hate me if you want, but you have no right to harass, bully, intimidate, violate my rights in any way, or treat me with disrespect simply because you do not choose to do what I and many others do. You do not have the right to tell me who to sleep with, how I should express myself, or determine for me what I can do as an adult.

Camming is the safest form of sex there is. I do it alone, and by practicing what I preach, I teach people about women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, sexual freedom, independence, and how to have fun. On the other hand, when you bully me, all you teach those around you is that violence, immaturity, and intimidation are all acceptable forms of behavior, and you are fundamentally wrong.