Loving Polyamorously And The Love Of One
I fell in love when I was very young, and I still love him more than anyone in the world, so how can I love others? Polyamory acknowledges that we can love someone more intensely than someone else. I will always love the first man I ever fell for more than others, but I have found room in my heart and mind for people I love but without as much intensity or depth. That may sound unimaginable to some, but others understand what I mean. Life takes us in many directions and allows us to interact with lots of different people, and although I miss him until we talk again, I know that this is the life I have chosen and that I need to understand that he has his life, as well. I do not demand of him that he be with me, exclusively, because we simply have not been able to be with one another as consistently as we might like. I enjoy the company of other men, and I find their lives interesting, but the love I feel for him is special. It has a quality that feels rare, and the rest of the time, other men make me laugh, take me out, and make love to me in fine ways. To open your heart to more than one person is for me a more tolerant way to live. It feels more genuine, honest, and accepting, and it makes me feel more grounded that I am capable of it.
You could also examine it from biological, historical or even socioeconomic perspectives. There are, factually more women than there are men on the planet, so many men have found it natural to give love and sex to more than one woman. I am speaking from a “straight” perspective, although I respect the “queer” perspective, as well. As a 44 year old woman, I have noticed that men seem capable of loving many women, and over time I have realized that I admire this about them. I see it as something that is a product of advantage, privilege, and of open mindedness. My choice to be Sex Positive has come from these observations. I do not want to see men as immature or fickle or irresponsible. I see this polyamorous tendency in men to be a product of evolution and adaptation. It does not offend me, although, I would be lying if I said I have never felt jealousy, but maturity has taught me that the green eyed monster should be relegated to children’s books and has no place in adult life.