What is Male Chastity?
Written by admin (maid lexis*)
What is Male Chastity?
Male chastity when practiced as a lifestyle can be an all encompassing componant of a relationship, not just a sexual game. Chastity and D/s lifestyles tap in and blend the mind, body and emotions of the Dominant and submissive. Chastity is an intellectual, physical, emotional and sexual experience. It’s an extension of control that a male submissive can truely relate too. Control becomes real in a very physical scense and is enhanced by the intellectual response to this control of the male’s sexual desire.
Male chastity is about tease and denial and control of the male’s desire to achieve release. Chastity play is about creating wanting and longing in the male sex drive, but staying locked in a chastity device until orgasm is permitted by the dominant partner – usually the wife, girlfriend or Mistress.
The Spice of Chastity
Chastity is a powerful way to add excitement and eroticism to a relationship primarily by the use of chastity device. Chastity is charged, erotic and exciting because the man is kept on the edge and though frequency of orgasms is not as often as the “normal” male, most appreciate the rare yet overwhelming orgasms that follow. The release date, continuous tease and denial and control of the male orgasm is what makes chastity work.
First, chastity works best when practiced by a couple already in a loving, stable and sexual relationship. The couple should be developing or already have open communication where both are able to openly discuss their fantasies, sexual topics and generally what they find erotic. For many couples, especially where the male is hesitant to try chastity, talking and creating the fantasy is the way to approach the topic. For many men it’s a fairly big step to give up control and/or the possibility of experiencing “unwanted” pain or discomfort that would be caused by wearing a device. This is one of the reasons for this site – to help create the fantasy and to provide education and insight into chastity play.
Simply put male chastity is about denying a man’s ability to achieve orgasms, limiting sexual stimulation to his penis, and giving control of one’s sexual release to a keyholder. A keyholder is usually the female dominant in the relationship who holds the keys to the chastity device. She makes the decisions as to when (release date), how often (frequency), and in what form the male will be allowed to achieve orgasm. Form may be sexual intercourse, masturbation, prostatic milking and in a D/s context it could be by some form of humiliating act of sexual release.
For most practitioners of chastity it’s not about the denial of sexual intercourse or sexual intimacy. It’s about the control of when and how orgasm will be permitted – while creating a build of tension from regular tease and denial play. Some men and women have concerns of losing that “closeness and intimacy” that physical love making brings to a couples relationship. Oddly enough, many report that “love making” and “intimacy” actually increase when chastity was introduced to the relationship. Part of this is due to the re-focusing of the males sexual energy onto his female partner. Again, many couples continue to engage in regular or even increased sexual relations and/or sex play. It’s just that the male partner is not achieving orgasm during every sexual encounter. In a D/s context the pleasure is more focused on the dominant female partner…but the intimacy of the couple is still intact.
Again, chastity is not about denial of sex and intimacy. It’s about the build up of frustration and the hope and anticipation for orgasm which is the spice of chastity. Now there are so many roads to follow in this cycle of “frustration, anticipation and finally orgasm” – tease and denial. We won’t discuss them here but it comes down to how you and your partner decide to incorporate chastity play into your relationship – vanilla sex play, BDSM or in a FemDom lifestyle relationship.
For many submissive males it’s about the willingness to please their dominant partner. Knowing that by giving up power, pleasing his partner and bowing to the wishes of his Mistress he will earn orgasms.
For the dominant females it’s about taking control and creating a charged environment where her pleasure comes first and she finds excitement and eroticism by exercising that control.