Is Intimacy the Same as Sex from a Woman’s Perspective?
What is intimacy? Is it different than sex? Does it include sex? Does it require sex? Is it about going to the movies together? Is it about having good conversations? Is it about my orgasms? Is it about his orgasms?
Intimacy can be all these things. Intimacy is created when people spend time together and get to know one another. Intimacy happens when lovers become best friends or when best friends become lovers. Intimacy is making your lover come first. Intimacy is when you give and receive.
Even when I do not come first, as my lover would have it, I can feel a deep passion for him by just enjoying him being inside me. That connection for a woman is a very deep one. It allows me to feel a love for men that transcends sex and fucking. When a woman enjoys being penetrated by her lover’s penis over and over again and is not focused on her own orgasm but instead is simply enjoying the conjoining of bodies, it can transform ordinary sex. The experience becomes beautifully sensual. The love making ceases being about sex and becomes about being together. It is something that is unique to women. I derive pleasure from being a “receiver.” This means that I get pleasure from giving pleasure. When I let go of needing to have an orgasm every time I fuck my lover, I notice this other kind of sexual gratification. My whole body enjoys being with him as we bond together as one. In this way, I can be close to him like no other. That joining of bodies and spirits can be extremely enjoyable. It is a higher pleasure that seems endless when I am inside it.
Intimacy like this can be achieved in one night or over a lifetime. It depends on how close you are to someone or on how attracted you are to a person. It can be something that is difficult to describe, because it is very personal. It can be very deep and fulfilling. It can be cathartic. It can be something we strive for over and over again. Sometimes, it is the result of a moment spent with someone you like or love. Your definition of intimacy will become clearer to you as you move forward in your life and become friends with people and as you gain new experiences, but the great thing about it is that you can be any age and feel it whether you have sex with someone or not.