I was reading an article about the various divisions among and between feminists on pornography and found the discussion as to whether it is degrading to women interesting. On the one hand, you have the feminists of old maintaining their stance that all pornography oppresses women. On another side, there are the liberal feminists behaving as if they are Switzerland by remaining relatively silent on the issue, yet finding pornography somewhat offensive but disliking censorship. Finally, you have the sex positive feminists who sometimes are ex sex workers who offer first hand accounts of how they chose to perform in pornographic films, and that coercion or abuse were nowhere near a part of their realities.
I tend to side with the Sex Positive Movement and the Sex Educator’s perspective. Here is why: I have two degrees, consider myself outspoken, and enjoy sex. I have chosen to live with my fiancee who is a man, and we have a very good sex life. We have intelligent conversations about everything from jazz to foreign films to, you guessed it, sex. I like men, too. I have always found men more attractive than women. I do not think that simply because I am a woman, I need to tow the feminist political line of the day, either. I grew up being able to think for myself and was raised by a single parent mother who told me that I could be who I wanted to be. She never taught me, though, that I should hate my father for leaving us and certainly not simply because of his xy chromosomes.
Finally, though, as we grow older, we open our minds more and relax a bit about our beliefs and philosophies. We cease feeling so anxious about what is right and wrong. In that process, I have realized that the battle of the sexes does not need to distract me to the point of ridiculousness. It is just a debate, and at the end of the day, I still enjoy sex with my man. I have recently discovered, too, that I can have vaginal orgasms, so for me, watching porn now means I can enjoy seeing a woman masturbate as much as I can get off looking at a woman get pounded by a huge cock. Sometimes, we have to try something new or let go of old beliefs and allow new experiences to teach us tolerance. For me, feminism means co-existing with men as an independent woman, and in this way, I allow all opinions and beliefs to flow through me, so I might consider varying ideas from all sources.